This amazing beauty, of chaos all around
Fills my eager mind, with possibilities & doubt
Whatever should happen, whatever should not
Should I take the path more traveled, or the one less trot
Enjoy the sweet whispers, of life in my ears
Or just take it by storm, year after year
Oh! The dilemma, to say Yes or to say NO
To each hearty desire, my love did ever throw
No matter how genuine, no matter how lame
Regardless of what happens, I am to be blamed
The fierce scorching heat, of all the expectations
Just adds to my failures, my dereliction
I wonder how I am happy, & eager to carry on
As if the whole cosmos, has tagged me along
Amid the huge chaos, of death & birth of stars
Mine’s a similar fable, full of humor, love & scars
Enthralled & entrenched, in this beautiful chaos
I feel I have been a part (of it), for eons & eons!
Exalted and pleased and elevated I feel,
With the trust you have showered, pious I feel,
In this dearth of discontent, contented I feel,
High in spirits and full of zeal.
Every moment we shared, feels like a steal,
A precious memory, a discounted deal!
The inexplicable happiness I feel,
Has all been your giving, unheard, unseen!
Heartfelt gratitude, and thank you umpteen,
It has been a pleasure, a treasure pristine…
The sweet whispers of your fragrance,
draw me closer to you, your ethereal essence,
The sweet nothings of your boredom,
make me indulge in you, your complete freedom,
The sweet sensations of your voice,
make me believe in you, your charismatic poise,
The sweet goosebumps of your charm,
give me a pleasurable sensation, your larking psalm,
Entangled in you, your lustrous locks,
Mystified by you, your looks, your walk!
Make me or break me, but don’t you wake me,
coz this dream is far too real, just far too reel to hate me,
These illusions keep haunting me, pulverize me,
I cease to exist beyond you, Exorcise me!
There’s a storm inside me, a storm of wild emotions,
a storm that’s active and reacts to every sensation.
It makes me uneasy and eats up all my reaction,
all my words and all my expressions.
It confuses me and everyone around me,
Creating false illusions all around me.
It alters my character & all I am,
Confusing even myself of what I am.
It shakes not just my emotions, but my very foundation.
Tried a lot of methods, anger, love, even meditation.
But all in vain, I am unable to reduce its pain,
The quandary that’s present, makes it look like a game.
This storm has created a vacuum inside me,
where all my emotions are trapped and they plea to be free
But they are unable to fight the thoughts:
That they have been trapped for far too long to be sought.
And though they have lost significance & no longer matter,
They are always in a state of constant conflict & batter.
Trapping even what I want to say now, what I feel now.
But I am trapped in this vicious circle, I don’t know how!
Had a few words to say to U
Why I had been avoiding U
With all the counters I could think
& all the logics blended in a drink
I knew I was late, late to realize
That it was a mistake to summarize
Summarize all my thoughts and emotions
& never empathize your sensation
Now, I scream out loud to reach U
but the distance between is much too large
& No matter how much I scream,
My words are just some Whispers of a Dream
that echo hard, but are never heard
Left to echo for eternity and never to be heard
Standing in this swarm of echos,
I feel nothing but excruciating pain
& I wake up from this Nightmare
pleading God to rid me of this dare
Still I need to ask U, about this dream
Am I really gonna have those Whispers of the Dream?
Wandering through the dark,
Escaping the hidden mark,
Running away from U,
In the shadows of the dark!
I feel entrapped!
I feel entrapped in the promised embrace,
The embrace lasting eternity,
free from the clutches of this fraternity.
Unable to decide, if this is reality.
Longing for that kiss of love,
So much! so much! So much!
I feel life draining from me,
As I am walking away from U,
I feel darkness creeping in me.
Seeping in me the poison of fear!
Unable to carry the burden of this secret,
I fall apart, deprived of tears,
& I keep walking way from U.
Ashamed,afraid and full of disgust,
Fearful of my fears coming true,
I just keep walking away from U!
Walking past the memento of our friendship,
With lowered eyes, across the legend of our friendship,
I feel scared of the thoughts creeping in me,
The hollow whispers seeking the weakness in me.
The moist fragrance of our steps that’s there,
Draws me closer to our presence that’s there.
Visions of our snaps flashes across my eyes,
Blinding me through those glimpses in the skies.
Memories of love, of laughter, of care,
Memories of pain, & fear we shared,
All that’s there to me, to you,
All that’s there from cheers to hue,
Everything just floods my mind,
& I go numb as these memories unwind.
All my energies drain in front of the Pacific,
I feel exhausted & this ain’t specific.
But, I walk alone each day, each night,
Right past this legend to add to my plight!
And, I long for your presence here,
With the cheers and joys of this fare!