Had a few words to say to U
Why I had been avoiding U
With all the counters I could think
& all the logics blended in a drink
I knew I was late, late to realize
That it was a mistake to summarize
Summarize all my thoughts and emotions
& never empathize your sensation
Now, I scream out loud to reach U
but the distance between is much too large
& No matter how much I scream,
My words are just some Whispers of a Dream
that echo hard, but are never heard
Left to echo for eternity and never to be heard
Standing in this swarm of echos,
I feel nothing but excruciating pain
& I wake up from this Nightmare
pleading God to rid me of this dare
Still I need to ask U, about this dream
Am I really gonna have those Whispers of the Dream?
Why is it? That I always stop?
Standing at the brink, seconds, from fall.
Thoughts in my mind, memories and walls,
Stop in my mouth, seconds, from fall.
Desires that I crave, grand and grave,
Stop in my mind, dig their grave!
Am I brave? Or am I weak?
Why is it that I never weep?
Am I strong? For I don’t know!
Why can’t I follow the row?
All I love, all I hate,
Snatched from me as my fate.
Hiding myself, from the truth that is,
I have forgotten, what the truth really is!
Afraid of even my own self
I search through my eyes, my true self.
Lost in this wild, and hungry dearth,
I question, why the hell am I on this Earth?
Standing at the brink, I look back at U.
Asking : If its better to jump or come back to U.
This quandary though trivial for U,
is troubling my very existence anew.
Believing in U is believing in me,
& there’s no doubt in that, no leakage of wee.
Still, there’s hue strengthening its hold,
& I think I could sense it as foretold.
I may not be so grateful at times,
& I don’t use any pick up lines,
but, the distance between us better be clear,
because I am in a constant fear.
So many losses, so much pain,
Every part of me thirsty, in this dreadful rain.
Had it been for someone else,
It would had been another acquaintance.
Had it been for some other time,
It wouldn’t have cost another dime.
Had it been for some other day,
I would had sought another ray.
But, why it had to be this way?
A lot to ask, if I may!
Parting from an astute one,
In this span nothing’s been done.
Snatching from me my sheer luck,
Reduced me to an ugly duck.
It’s a loss, not just for me,
Everyone’s here with the similar plea.
It is like the demise of cheers,
every eye is numb with tears.
Escalating, in all, some fears.
None too close, none too dear.
Had it not been for the masks U wear,
I would had raised my accusations clear.
But, my words are false, & so are U,
Like the blemishes of forest fire on dew.
This memory I would treasure with all my will
& carry it with me till I am still!
So, keeping my selfish thoughts at bay,
I bid U farewell & a handsome pay.
There’s a difference, small may it be
That’s enough still, to provoke a scrutiny
A difference between me and U, not physical,
The minds I am referring, not the bodies, typical?
That’s all a game of reference, I say
If you don’t know the word, back off, be gay.
‘Einstein was great’, U don’t need me to prove!
Relativity at its best – none can disapprove,
Applies to minds & to thoughts that are free,
Free to wander, as per your Royal decree.
But the thought – “U R affected by my thought”,
Must have crept, also in your thought!
Then, Y is it that U R angry on someone else,
And, there are tears afresh in my eyes, hence
Hence, I fear its not just U who suffer,
The pain’s also on my side duffer.
But, wait a second, who am I to interfere
That’s too much to say, maybe U don’t care
Being positive, I put forth, “U didn’t notice!”
& the worst of all “Was there anything to notice?”
Being selfish in my own dirty ways,
I disturb myself and others in every possible way.
By words, an utterance and other filthy ways,
I haunt myself and others anytime everyday.
Being possessive I pretend not to be one,
accumulating anger,disgust and other tantrum.
Acting strange and lonely, attracting attention
at parties and celebrations, basking redemption.
Masking my identity with humor and posture,
being sick and pathetic across every roster.
Doing anything just to satisfy my lust,
the basic human greed, but it disgusts.
Nurturing a desire to love, to be loved,
being silent, to express and be hugged.
Knowing my wants are still unfulfilled,
I disguise again, pretending to be thrilled.
But what I am asking is not too big,
I just need someone to listen and DIG…
Unable to put words in a row
Am I happy, sad or sorrow
Trying to cheat those delusive eyes
Caught I feel in illusive eyes
Peeking through to have a look
at the beauty, I get hooked
Restless I am before U
but U R the one, I know its true
Mysterious, Tremendous, Marvelous U R
My true desire, my love U R
Tried to fake, tried to loose
used the smoke with the booze
the feel I feel, when I am with U
is far too mystic, is far too true
I long to have a word with U
but get confused when I am with U
I need U close to my heart
without a pain in relations apart
My mind’s been playing games with me
confusing, dilating the love in me
this is the time, to put this through
What about U? I know, I do!